We all have moments of self-doubt, those quiet afternoons when we feel a little lost, a little unsure of who we are and where we’re going. I was having one of those afternoons recently. I was feeling stuck, caught in a loop of negative self-talk and feeling disconnected from the person I wanted to be. I needed a way to break out of this funk, to find a new perspective. In a moment of what I can only describe as creative desperation, I did something a little strange, a little unconventional, but ultimately, incredibly inspiring. I decided to use a love calculator to test the compatibility between me and my ideal self.
I opened the basic, uncluttered interface of the calculator website. In the first input box, I typed my own name. That was the easy part. The second box required more thought. I didn’t want to put the name of another person. I wanted to put a concept, a representation of the person I aspire to be. After a moment of reflection, I typed a single word into the second box: "Courage." It was a quality I felt I was lacking, a quality I desperately wanted to cultivate. With a sense of nervous curiosity, I hit the "Calculate" button.
The result was 75%. I looked at the number, and Additional Info instead of feeling disappointed that it wasn’t higher, I felt a surge of motivation. A 75% wasn’t a failing grade. It meant I was already three-quarters of the way there. It suggested that courage was already a significant part of me, even if I didn’t always feel it. The score became a starting point for a new kind of self-dialogue. It prompted me to ask myself: what is holding me back from that extra 25%? What steps could I take to close that gap?
This was a revelation. A simple entertainment tool had just become a powerful instrument for self-reflection. I tried it again. This time, I typed "My Ideal Self" in the second box. The score was 80%. Again, this was incredibly encouraging. It felt like a message that I was closer to my goals than I thought. The process was so insightful that I continued, testing my name against other qualities and concepts I valued. I tested my name with "Creativity," "Discipline," and "Freedom." Each score, each number, gave me a new lens through which to view my own personal growth.
This strange, private ritual became a way for me to externalize my internal struggles and aspirations. It turned a vague, overwhelming feeling of "not being good enough" into a series of manageable, almost game-like, challenges. How can I increase my "Creativity" score? What would a 90% "Discipline" life look like? The love calculator, a tool designed for interpersonal relationships, had become a tool for my intrapersonal relationship—the relationship I have with myself.
It was a surprisingly profound experience. It allowed me to step outside of my own head and look at my life with a sense of playful curiosity rather than harsh judgment. It was a reminder that personal growth is a journey, a process of closing the gap between who we are and who we want to be. The website, with its instant and non-judgmental feedback, was the perfect partner for this kind of exploration. It didn’t give me answers, but it prompted me to ask better questions. It was a starting point for a new, more compassionate conversation with myself, and it helped me to start, seriously and with a renewed sense of hope, to think about my true life’s direction.